Where to start when something comes to an unequivocable end?
At the beginning? I met Bob Asprin in the early spring of 1976 at Lunacon, a New York City science-fiction convention. We hit it off pretty much from the moment we made eye contact.
At the end? Bob died yesterday afternoon (May 22, 2008). A peaceful death, by all accounts, dozing on a sofa with a Terry Pratchett book still open in his hands. Unexpected? yes. Surprising? no, not really.
We’d married in 1982, separated in 1992, and divorced in July of 1993, which was the last time we were face-to-face. We talked, not often, over the years since, usually about unpleasant things. We didn’t, after all, get divorced because everything was just perfect. It took a long time to work through my anger, mostly because it took a long time to work through the financial chaos that surrounded Bob for the last twenty years of his life. (I don’t think he had a philosophical objection to paying income tax, he just never considered it something that had to be done.) Once the anger was gone, I worked my way through the other named stages of grief and mourning. By 2005 I was pretty sure that I was actually looking forward to seeing him at DragonCon in Atlanta. I imagined that we could put something together that was, if not an actual friendship, at least professional courtesy.
A few days before DragonCon, Hurricane Katrina made landfall and the meeting never took place. Instead of seeing Bob, I saw some then-recent photos, which overrode my imagination with reality: the man I had known and loved, married and divorced was gone. Years of hard living in the French Quarter had ruined his teeth and transformed his wild black hair into scraggly, straw-colored tendrils. If he had been there, I wouldn’t have recognized him. It wasn’t just that he had aged…we’re all showing quite a bit of mileage these days…but that he looked ill and defeated. I warned myself and his daughter, who’d joined me for the convention: Bob doesn’t look like someone who’s going to see his sixtieth birthday.
I was wrong. He saw his sixtieth and his sixty-first. Bill, who successfully defied conventional wisdom and remained a close friend to both of us, told me that Bob had cleaned up his act, cut way down on his alchohol intake, and started writing again. He had a new book on the shelves and others in the pipeline, there was talk of a movie deal, and–from the “there’s no end to life’s ironies” department–he was once again out from under the IRS cloud having made his final penalty payment about twenty-four hours before his death, five weeks shy of his sixty-second birthday.
It’s tempting to imagine that he woke up yesterday morning, looked in the mirror and saw a second act shining brightly before him. And I hope he did, but the Bob Asprin I knew was deeply ambivalent about good fortune. He tended to see it, along with all the other “good” things that came his way, as betrayals-in-waiting. His world-view meant that he had to be on guard at all times, ready to defend himself against attacks that were sure to come. It was an exhausting way to live…for him and for everyone close to him; and I can’t help but wonder if the sight of new horizons wasn’t more intimidating than inviting.
Bob was a fantacist: no matter the plots or characters, he wrote about worlds that might or should be. The over-arching theme to all his novels was friendship: reliable, unquestioning, intuitive friendship. His characters are there for one another. They rarely misstep or misspeak, zig when they should’ve zagged. It was a very fine myth, indeed.
Everyone who knew Bob has indelible memories of his friendship.
These are some of mine…
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We’ll miss him. All his stories reminded me that real friends were possible.
I found the news of Bob’s passing on the internet last night after some business and partying in the Chicago Hyatt-Regency. Very strange feeling, because this is the same hotel where, during a Chicon world sf convention, Bob first asked me to write for Thieves World. I knew him before that, of course, through filk and convention circuits. I’m very saddened to hear of his passing, but glad to hear that things were looking up for him at the end.
Thanks for sharing these Lynn. It’s been a while since I saw Bob too. I was scheduled to go to NOLA in September of 2005… And I haven’t had the heart to go back to that city that I love so much. The last time I was there, we went on a pub crawl one night and I bought him dinner at Antoine’s another. It was nice to pay back some of the dinners and drinks he bought me. I’m going to miss him so much.
MKK
[...] Lynn Abbey has posted a moving blog with lots of pictures in memoriam. [...]
[...] More on Robert Asprin » by Propagandroid in: hobby games Lynn Abbey has posted a moving blog with lots of pictures in memoriam. [...]
My apologies for the double trackback, I hit the wrong button and voila, I’m a spambot.
I did not know Bob well, but spoke to him every time we crossed paths at conventions, from age 13 all the way up to a couple of years ago at a sci-fi convention in Dallas. He was a legendary figure, and one of my greatest influences.
My condolences.
–Prop
Those are some wonderful photos! Now that’s the Bob I remember.
I never knew the Man personally, however you and your’s changed the course of my life in “82″ when I was introdoused to TW, At the sweet age of thirteen. Twenty six years later I spent my day off trying to mod GWWH goblinoid minis into street urchins. He gave me so much and I never got to tell him. He was born on “The day of emotional stimulation”. I never knew he shared a birthday with Henry the VIII or Gilda Radner. So aprapo. His Tarot card is the Magician, duh. His stenghths humorous, intresting, & entertaining. His weaknesses oblivious, imprecise, & grating. His meditation reads “turning one’s back to another, whether among animals or humans, is the most direct way of expressing contempt”. We can’t question the circle of life, we can only answer it. Thank you for being apart of mine. I know this is a private time, but if there is any way I can be there please let me know. I have made arrangements with work. Please…I need to be there.
P.S. Thanks for the Pics (I always knew he was the Jimmy Hendrics of RPG’s).
Thank you for opening and sharing a part of your life
The Myth books brought me many smiles
Thieves World opened up the darker/gritty side of fantasy and introduced me to many authors through it’s shared world stories
good bye Bob
[...] Asprin’s ex-wife, Lynn Abey, made a post in her blog well worth reading. While my experiences with Asprin were through his novels, hers was a personal, [...]
[...] Lynn Abbey – [...]
Thank you so much for sharing this, Lynn. As you know, my own contact with Bob was surprisingly limited, despite my having run the official MythAdventures Fan Club for 5 1/2 years. But we did have those odd adventures like the one at San Diego with the exploding minivan window on which you collaborated.
I was Fan Guest of Honor at MARCon where he was to be Special Author Guest this weekend. (It was only a coincidence that the con had invited both of us — they didn’t know of my ties to his background until after they’d invited me to be FGOH.) Shortly after I arrived, during the pre-con reception, we got the word of his passing, and the effect was felt on the whole convention. Memorials were held here at MARCon, funds collected for a gift, appreciations signed, and so forth. But there was no howling, hysterical sorrow, which is just as well. I didn’t really know him that well, but I doubt he would have cared for that sort of thing.
I was so lucky to have known Bob for so many years. He attended OKon (Oklahoms Konvention)many times, both as some sort of Guest of Honor and as a fan. He meant so much to so many of our people, both fans and convention committee).
He was also one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.
I first saw him at the filksing at FoolCon in Overland Park, KS. He was singing regular filk when some girl in the crowd asked if he knew any SCA songs. Mary Kay turned around and asked if she knew who Bob was. When the girl said “No,” MK told her he was Yang the Nauseating. That immediately stunned the girl and she sat quietly for the rest of the evening.
When I had just started a new job I was going around meeting the people in my group I found out that one was interested in Science Fiction, especially in the Myth World series by Robert Aspirin and Lynn Abbey. I tried very hard not to say it, but finally said “I know them.” Being really, really impressed he became one of our (Tom and me) best friends.
I know this is very long and I gould say so much more, but I won’t.
One of my favorite memories of Bob’s books is (loosely quoted)is “It’s prevert not pervert.”
MLW
Thanks, Lynn, especially for the photos. Over the years I kept meaning to write to Bob, to invite him to visit, to catch up on old friendships. I never thought he would pass before I did. I’m sorry he’s gone. He will be missed.
Bob was, well, Bob. A unique and facinating individual. I enjoyed times well spent with him, at filks, during seminars, or just BSing out in the lobby. His impact spread past fandom out to the general reading public. Whenever one of my mundane friends would tell me all about this hilarious new book about a guy named Phule or a interesting read in a shared universe, I would just smile and say, “Tell me more.” Bob will be missed but not forgotten.
I just read about Mr. Asprin’s death. I am very sorry to hear he passed away. I remember the first time I read Thieves World in college (early 80′s) and feeling like I was taken to a place which was real, just not on our planet. The characters all seemed real and three-dimensional.
I also had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Asprin one time at a tiny Science Fiction convention in Lubbock Texas. He was the special guest speaker at that event. I remember a story he told about being part of a security detail for a Star Trek convention, where he was dressed as a Klingon(60′s style). He told of an encounter with a young boy who ended up breaking his arm because he was blasting Mr. Asprin with his brand new phaser.
Mr. Asprin also told everyone in the audience that “you aren’t a professional writer until someone pays you.”.